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 Clinton Finds New Hobby

While awaiting the outcome of his TV show proposal, Bill Clinton is keeping himself busy with his latest hobby - Gardening.  "I never knew this could be so much fun" said Clinton, who has spent the last several weeks working at his newfound and moral activity.




Throw Your Hand In The Air, Like You Just Don't Care

Priest declares victory over accusations, saying he is gay, and was living with two male lovers while on leave and therefore "couldn't have done it". 

Upon the priest's statements reaching the Vatican, which included: "How do you like me now?" - the Pope reportedly gave props in a shout out to the priest, instructing him to get down with his bad self.




Breaking News: ScreamingPickle Staff - "Stunned" by Catholic Church, in their endless offering of content for this site.




The Scandal Continues

In a press conference, Cardinal Bernard Law was interrogated for not dismissing known sexual offenders.  In response, Law diverted the questions by stating: "You may have already won $10,000,000"




Animal Cruelty soars to new heights.

Washington - At a local pet store, animal rights extremists protest against pet owners who "maliciously steal" their pet's identity, to make them more human.  "This is an atrocity!" said Pam Houser, "I can't believe anyone could stoop so low as to subject their pets to this kind of violation"

The extremists aim to ban the sale and production of outfits for dogs has yet to arrive at any significant milestones. 

Rosie O'Donnel's personal tailor was unavailable for interview.



Domestic Terror?

Authorities have declared several mailbox exploding incidents: "Acts of Domestic Terror". This came despite the incredibly likely chance that Osama Bin Laden sent Al Qaeda members armed with pipe bombs to Urbandale, Iowa - with aims to reek havoc on the entire population of 150.