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Arafat Fears One-Way Ticket To Exile

As Israeli military attacks intensify on Yasser Arafat's compound, Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon says Arafat will be allowed to leave the compound, "If he purchases a one-way-ticket to Exile."

Band members were unavailable for comment.



Oklahoma Woman Faces Trial

Oklahoma City - Susan Bibey faces 687 counts of emotional assault and guilt infliction.  A nation wide trace was conducted by FCC investigators to find persons responsible for the continued spread of "Forward this message from Heaven or else burn in Hell and force children to starve, while you get cancer and become responsible for every victimized woman and child on the face of the earth." types of emails.  She was arrested while putting finishing touches on the "Luck Fairy" email.  Unfortunately, she managed to hit "send" before she was cuffed and taken away.



Megadeath Breaks Up

Dave Mustaine and other band members announced the band breakup this week.  This absolutely stunned people across the nation, and even caused great disbelief - as no one knew they were still together.  "Amazing" said some guy.  "Wow" said a lady.

The fate of their first ever "Live" CD, released last month is undetermined at this time.  But most critics believe they will sell at least 5 of the 10 copies.