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This Just In: Holding up a digital camera for over 45 seconds to wait for the perfect moment to take a snapshot of a still object is damn annoying.

Archaeological Dig Yields Expert Theories Upon discovering a bowl and a necklace at a dig site in northern Utah, Archaeological experts have concluded there must have been some type of culture that lived here long ago.  They have further concluded that the ancient inhabitants must also have had to eat, as well has had necks.

This follows last month's startling discovery of a ship in the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, which experts have concluded must have sunk at some time.

Breaking News: Dr. Dre Keeps it Real and "For the People" by shooting a Coors commercial.

Ultimate Electronics Blowout Sale

For a limited time, Ultimate Electronics will be offering outdated laptops and PC's for only 50% above retail.  Also, consumers who act now can receive a $5 rebate for signing a 30 year contract with AOL.

Attorney Shows Heart

Los Angeles - Attorney at Law, Jim Jameson proves his fairness and compassion for one of his clients by offering them 10% cut of the settlement awarded in a paralysis suit.