Don't Believe Anything You Read.

Breaking News: Eminem has not yet disappeared. 

Researchers are looking into this phenomenon, but have yet to secure any real leads.  Once believed to be a mere case of the Tom Arnold Phenomenon, further testing has proved this to be a much more serious situation.  Dr. Williams, Research Team Head, urges the public not to panic, and though we may be facing as many as two more years of suffering - there will surely be light at the end of the tunnel.  Eventually.

Shaggy Boycotts Scooby Doo

After being turned down for a leading role in "Scooby Doo, The Movie", Shaggy vows not to purchase a ticket to see the movie, saying, "They'll get no such satisfaction from me."