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Dr. Laura Speaks Out

Dr. Laura accuses parents who use televisions, computers, telephones, cars, electricity or running water of living out their own perverse sexual fantasies through their children, and should be put to death.  She went on to suggest posing nude as a way to release these built up tensions



Research Underway

Arizona State University - Researchers are probing the usefulness of research into how worthwhile research studies are.  Results are expected sometime next year, but early opinions indicate funding is quite useful.



Rome Supports Clones

Jim Rome flies to Washington D.C. to participate in protests against restrictions and/or banning of cloning.  Rome: "Here's the deal.  I'm about to say something.  Here's the deal.  It's huge.  Here we go.  I'm the king of smack.  Props.  Baseball sucks.  Have a take.  The clones must live.  The jungle needs them.  I'm out.  Later.  Done.  See ya.  Out."



Breaking News: Police and FBI Officers arrest countless radio DJ's for the taking on the personification of being a celebrity.



Breaking News: "Whazzup!" Guy -  first person in history to degrade the value of a dollar by signing it.