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Breaking News:

Person found who actually gives a shit about relationship between Jennifer Lopez (J.Lo) and Shawn Coombs (Puffy/Puff Daddy/P. Diddy)



This Just In: 'Tough Dog' not so tough since being left in parked car near Phoenix mall.


Celebrity Reminders - On the rise

The last few months have seen a strong increase in celebrities reminding the rest of us who they are - opting to help regular people out with comments such as "Do you know who I am?" or speaking about themselves in 3rd person.


"Korean Kuisine" Restaurant to hold Grand Opening this week in Chicago.



Arthur Andersen Investigation Continues to Broaden

Following an investigation into the finance and trade practices of "The Rainbow Family", the IRS has determined that Arthur Andersen aided the dreadlocked clan by shredding records of parking lot grilled cheese sandwich sales in fiscal 2001.  "As many as 200 sandwiches are unaccounted for." says one federal auditor.  Investigators are also looking into unclaimed funds received from panhandling, as well as the sale of "Kind Nugs"



Breaking News: Finger Boards voted Most Functional Toy in History



Recovering Alcoholic Finds Success

Recovering alcoholic and barber of Watto, Kansas - James Tucker attributes his success in sobriety to his 12-step program's strict adherence to anonymity for it's members.