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McDonalds presents Braille menu to deaf woman.

 

 

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Plum Smuggling Ring Fights Back
Suspects charged with involvement in plum smuggling ring set to be tried next month, showed up on capitol hill Tuesday in protest.

Posters printed with, "A.L.P.S. - Adult Lobbyists for Plum Smugglers" moved up and down above the protestors in their extremely tight fitting jeans.  Participants repeated chants to passers by, such as:

"No matter what comes, we will pack the plums"  and "Come what may, the plums are gonna stay!"

This was following the congress veto of a bill last month, which proposed allowing men to wear tight jeans once again.  The original ban came in 1989, when medical researchers discovered a direct link between birth defects and men who wear tight jeans.  Dr. Lamareaux, "It is not feasible to allow this to make a comeback.  The blood restriction from male genitalia unquestionably leads to lower sperm count, birth defects, and eventually total infertility." 

Following his statement on leading to infertility, the Gene Pool Cleaning Association of California came in to fight along side the accused "Plum Smugglers" with hopes to reduce birthrates of stupid pieces of shit.

 

 

Breaking News: NyQuil sues Jaegermeister, taste already patented.

 

 

MTV Spring Break Coverage

MTV is making good on their promise to air a continuous, uninterrupted "Woooooooo!" for the entire duration of their presence in Cancun.  Other uninterrupted items delivered include: Girls in thongs, at least 2 people with blurred body parts, 20 glasses held in air, 10 guys about to pass out from flexing for the last several days, and 5 guys being drunk assholes.