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NO SIGNS OF TERROR. WAIT. NEVERMIND, IT'S TERROR.
Russian officials have found no signs of terror in their investigation of two Russian passenger jet crashes.
The two planes crashed within minutes of each other Tuesday night after departing Moscow's Domodedovo Airport, killing all aboard.
Following a thorough investigation, officials have concluded "The passengers died peacefully with absolutely no signs of terror." as they whirled into the ground at several hundred miles per hour, exploding into huge fireballs.
Wait. Ok, I guess it was terror after all.